Morning Bourbon & Needle Fun Stuff

A death investigation began shortly after a body was found in the Ohio River Tuesday morning. [WDRB]

The relocation of hundreds of government employees out of decaying office space is beginning, with the entire move expected to be completed by mid-fall. [C-J/AKN]

Eight authors who have written books about bourbon are scheduled to open a days-long event giving participants a behind-the-scenes look at Kentucky’s bourbon industry. [WHAS11]

Of course Hal Rogers opposes needle exchanges. Until his family members figure out how to profit from them, they won’t get his support. [H-L]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! The Louisville Waterfront Fourth of July celebration will return this year. [WLKY]

What? Coal kills? Surely not. Surely all that hype wasn’t just the Coal Association using PR hacks to claim otherwise. [HuffPo]

Two local TV station employees suffered minor injuries as a car ran a light and slammed into their live truck, flipping it onto its side. [WAVE3]

Charter Communications announced early Tuesday that it will acquire Time Warner Cable — a little over a month after a proposed deal between Comcast and Time Warner was killed by regulators. [The Hill]

The appeals period for the latest round of Louisville property tax assessments closes at the end of this month. Some appeals will be successful, but others will not. [WFPL]

Senate Republican leaders managed to scrape up enough votes just past midnight Saturday morning to put off decisive action on the NSA’s bulk collection of American phone records until next Sunday, May 31. But the hardliners — and make no mistake, they are taking an even harder and more absurd line than the NSA itself — have no endgame. [The Intercept]

Louisville leaders are encouraging foreign-born residents of Louisville to call their friends and family and tell them how much they enjoy living here. [Business First]

A Southern Indiana county at the epicenter of the worst HIV outbreak in Indiana history is seeking state permission to implement a yearlong needle exchange program. [News & Tribune]

More Possibility In Chattanooga Than Louisville?

The words don’t always come easy. For Perry Clemons, they sometimes vanish. Clemons is 58-years-old and lives in Clarkson, Kentucky. [WDRB]

As Mayor Greg Fischer joins Metro Council member Angela Lee in calling for a fuller environmental study of the Brownsboro Road site purchased for a new Veterans Affairs Medical Center, plans are in the works to turn about half of the second choice site into a subdivision. [C-J/AKN]

What? Another shooting? Surely not. Not in Possibility City where everything is Compassionate and Transparent. [WHAS11]

Rand Paul takes the first step toward running for president when he asks state party leaders to endorse his idea to create a 2016 presidential caucus in Kentucky. [H-L]Singed by their defeat in the battle over Homeland Security funding, Republicans aren’t about to renew their fight against President Barack Obama’s executive actions on immigration anytime soon. [Politico]

They’ll run stories like this about animal shelters hundreds of miles away. But couldn’t be bothered to dig in at Metro Animal Services at any point over the past decade. [WLKY]

Louisville doesn’t have the guts to do something like this. Fischer and council will always bend over backwards for lobbyists. [HuffPo]

Lexington has started to shoot its kids just like Louisville! Copycat. We were first. Lexington police told media outlets a 9-year-old boy was taken to UK Hospital after being shot while riding in his parents’ car. [WAVE3]

A factory in Louisville, Kentucky, made chewing tobacco for over a century before folding in 2009. Now the abandoned site is a symbol of how the city is changing: The 24-acre brownfield will soon become one of the largest hubs for local food in the U.S. [Fast Company]

Louisville Metro Police is on track to putting body cameras on some officers this summer. [WFPL]

President Barack Obama’s proposal to consolidate more than a dozen regulatory offices into an agency that would oversee food safety is drawing the intrigue and ire of some food safety advocates, producers, and experts — some of whom question the feasibility of a move that’s decades in the making. [ThinkProgress]

A U.S. Supreme Court decision about whether patients who get insurance through federally administered exchanges should have their costs subsidized is not expected to have an impact on Kynect, Kentucky’s insurance exchange. [Business First]

At first it looks like some kind of marketing ploy. Six picnic tables, surrounded by a garbage can on a concrete slab in the middle of Same Peden Community Park in New Albany. [News & Tribune]

Do You Remember Chris Parente From WAVE?

Surely you remember Chris Parente from back in the day at WAVE3.

He’s had some, ahem, fun lately:

Something tells us he wishes he could have a do-over so that video won’t have been seen millions of times.

And what the heck kind of ego does a person have to have to be so unprepared and disrespectful of another person’s time? When you get paid tens of thousands of dollars to talk at a camera a few minutes a day, the least you could do is watch whatever it is you’re supposed to discuss.

JCPS Truly Works Hard To Feed Children Well

Just take a guess at who the card belongs to. Louisville Metro Police say they’ve arrested a woman after she was found with a stolen access card belonging to a “high ranking” Louisville Metro EMS administrative employee. [WDRB]

Allison “Jamie” Kleinhelter has collected only $4,000 of the $120,000 awarded to her in 2011 when a Jefferson Circuit Court judge found that her lawyer had botched an appeal of the denial of her disability claim. [C-J/AKN]

The University of Louisville is hoping to open the city to the world of soccer with a new state of the art facility. [WHAS11]

The idea that fans of bourbon would want to visit the places where the spirit is made seems a fairly new one, fostered by the growing popularity over the past decade of the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. [H-L]

It’s sad that the community is so used to random shootings that this seems the norm. [WLKY]

When you start feeling like Jefferson County Public Schools are a hot mess? Remember that things are MUCH worse elsewhere in the state and no one is ever held accountable. [Page One]

This is what counts as journalism and breaking news for at least one television outlet. [WAVE3]

Eating crow is never fun but that’s what Jake is doing. Help him get things squared away? If you get something out of this content, consider doing so in order to ensure that it continues. [Click Here For Details]

Since the U.S. Agriculture Department’s new school meal requirements were implemented in 2012, the cost for Jefferson County Public Schools to provide fresh produce has doubled, said Julia Bauscher, the district’s director of school and community nutrition services. [WFPL]

Crews are making progress in getting Flat 12 Bierwerks, a taproom and brewery planned for Jeffersonville, ready for an opening in late summer or early fall. [Business First]

The city council will discuss a proposal Monday to hire five new police officers each of the next five years to increase a force that is “spread thin,” said Jeffersonville Police Chief Chris Grimm. [News & Tribune]