Media: Potential Suicide Is Not A Twitter Joke

If someone’s about to jump to their death, PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN. There’s no reason to tweet photos of that! Also no reason to run video footage of it on the noon “news.” Jesus H. It’s like no one has any sense anymore. [Louisville Media Failure]

Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer said 2013 was the year that Louisville’s economy turned around and that city government has good momentum right now. [WDRB]

Developers have started marketing a 43-acre Fern Creek shopping center proposed to be built at Bardstown Road and the Snyder Freeway, while several neighbors are moving forward with a lawsuit that aims to stop the project. [C-J/AKN]

Looks like we all know where we need to start playing bingo in the new year. A Louisville man was charged after police said he was drunk when he inappropriately disrupted a Bingo game. [WHAS11]

Improvements to Mt. Tabor Road won’t include a roundabout at the Klerner Lane intersection. The city [of New Albany] has pulled the roundabout from its proposed construction design, as many residents opposed the idea during a September public hearing including the four property owners whose land would be affected by the traffic circle. [News & Tribune]

You can’t even get near a park these days without a woman shooting herself. [WLKY]

Coal mines produce what’s sometimes called black gold, but researchers at the University of Kentucky hope the mines could hold something even more valuable — a miracle drug. [H-L]

WAVE3 has long been obsessed with pornography and sex, so these stories come as no surprise. No one at the station has apparently ever been on Craigslist. [WAVE3 & More WAVE3]

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has flood-risk maps of questionable accuracy for many U.S. counties and lacks maps altogether for some. [ProPublica]

Kentuckians who have not finished their GED exams will have to take all four parts of the test over when the test is updated in January. [WFPL]

Every time we see this tree story, we can’t help but hope Greg Fischer doesn’t let them all die like he did the last bunch. [WTVQ]

Come on, Business First, how is this even a story you considered publishing? At a time when your paper is dying – and people like us buy it up and attempt to help you – the least you could do is have some sense. [Business First]

We don’t even have to mention how absurd this release from Metro Animal Services is. Pretending they investigate animal abuse. Feigning interest in the community. Miss Margaret is handing over dogs to known dog fighters without so much as an application these days – all in an attempt to up her numbers. Not a soul in Metro Government gives a flip. [Come On]

Kentucky’s U.S Senate Race Is Pure Schadenfreude

Jack Conway thinks signing a petition or two will win him the U.S. Senate race. This is borderline schadenfreude. [Page One]

Of course Louisville’s population growth lags behind Nashville and Indianapolis. The longer we elected people who are only out for themselves – those who refuse to move this city forward on the business and social fronts – the longer we’re all going to suffer. And tolls? Killing the Waterfront? In ten years, no one will want to live in Louisville. It’s all going to be a giant Saint Matthews. [C-J]

Mitch McConnell allegedly honored slaves who built the U.S. Capitol. Something about that is unbelievably awkward. [WBKO]

Summer camps at the Louisville Nature Center? You should probably force these on your rugrats ASAP. [Consuming Louisville]

Branden Klayko has officially gone missing! [Broken Sidewalk]

Mitch McConnell says he’s but a man of the people. Unfortunately, he thinks those people have $30 million. [More Page One]

TARC announced yesterday that it’s offering a discounted monthly express-fare pass for $80, which can be ordered online. Apparently there will no longer be express tickets for sale – you’ll have to use two adult cash fare tickets or a single ticket plus $1 in cash. [TARC]

Leadership Louisville’s 2011 class of 59 business leaders has been announced. Folks like Gill Holland, Jon Salomon, Christie McCravy. [Business First]

You’ll probably want to check this map out if you’re a giant nerd like Jake. Shows where Louisvillians came from and went to. [WFPL & Forbes]