Nothing Is Puppies & Rainbows Today!

JCTC is sending layoff notices to about 40 more people. This round of cuts impacts students in the classroom, with professor and instructor jobs eliminated. [WDRB]

As Churchill Downs nears the end of $18 million in renovations to a number of its premium seating and lounge areas, the Central Avenue track offered a glimpse inside them Tuesday to local media. [C-J/AKN]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO WILL EAT YOUR DATA! Fun fact: People are terrible. [WHAS11]

Want to watch Steve Beshear melt down for finally being held accountable? Here’s your chance. Matt Bevin’s politics may be deplorable and he may have the intelligence of a pool of hog poop but he couldn’t in his wildest teabagger dreams come close to touching the level of corruption that controlled Beshear’s Administrat. [H-L]

Seeeeeee? People are terrible! Raping people in cemeteries. Wow. [WLKY]

Laura Bush detailed the exact moment she learned about the 9/11 terrorist attacks during an intimate conversation with her daughter. [HuffPo]

At least WAVE isn’t over-hyping this like WDRB. Have Jefferson County Public Schools gone overboard by trying to hold on to teachers by raising their pay? [WAVE3]

Former U.N. climate chief Christiana Figueres has credited faith groups for helping to advance the Paris Climate Agreement by supporting “holistic, equitable, but above all, ambitious climate action.” [ThinkProgress]

The way Daphne Patton remembers it, it was more money than she’d ever seen. It was 1990, and the Kentucky Supreme Court had declared the state’s school funding system unconstitutional. Within a year, a lot more money started flowing to the poorest school districts, a 50 to 60 percent increase in their budgets. [WFPL]

Investigators probing the mysterious execution-style killings of eight family members in rural Ohio last week have found evidence of illegal cockfighting and marijuana cultivation on their property, state officials said on Tuesday. [Reuters]

Someone’s trying to build a bunch of huts around Louisville. But these aren’t your typical huts — they’re Google Fiber huts, and this could be a sign that the city has taken a huge leap forward in the process of getting the coveted gigabit internet service. [Business First]

Two Indiana counties are seeking permission from the state to begin or continue needle exchange programs in an effort to slow the spread of hepatitis C and HIV among narcotic drug users. [News & Tribune]

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Getting Extra-Compassionate In Time For Derby

What’s new? Another day, another murder here in Compassionate City. [WDRB]

Holly Liter spends many weekends cleaning up vomit, picking up trash and explaining to her 11-year-old daughter what marijuana smells like. “It can be a nightmare,” she said. [C-J/AKN]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! The city is definitely experiencing deja vu with the jail again. [WHAS11]

Kentucky’s public universities and colleges will be limited to tuition increases that range between 4.6 percent and 6.1 percent next school year for in-state undergraduate students, the Council on Postsecondary Education decided Tuesday. [H-L]

Residents in the Smoketown neighborhood have won a victory after the Metro Sewer District approved changes to a storm water storage basin after outcry from the community. [WLKY]

How the military is preparing for the possibility of a very different kind of Commander in Chief. [HuffPo]

Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer made it official on Tuesday, throwing his support behind Hillary Clinton for president in advance of the May 17 Kentucky Democratic primary. [WAVE3]

Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Sellus Wilder said he wants to run as a “progressive” candidate in a state where he believes Democrats run races like Republicans. [Ashland Independent]

Ann Morrison first noticed a change in her hearing three years ago. The 73-year-old who lives in Goshen, Ky., said she began missing parts of important conversations, turning up the television volume and growing increasingly frustrated. [WFPL]

Ten months ago, three teenaged boys who had escaped from a group home in Brooklyn were arrested for the violent assault and rape of a woman in Manhattan. The boys had been placed in the home as part of a program run by New York City’s Administration for Children’s Services, which had been seeking alternatives to formal detention facilities for troubled youngsters caught up in the juvenile justice system. [ProPublica]

The Young Professionals Association of Louisville has announced its new board of directors and officers for 2016-17. [Business First]

Heidi Cruz, wife of Republican presidential candidate and Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, stopped in Jeffersonville to talk to the local GOP at Kye’s II on Friday afternoon. [News & Tribune]

It’s Totally Groundhog Day At The Jail

The city of Jeffersontown and its police department are changing the approach to fighting crime, trying to make fewer arrests to deal with a growing heroin problem. [WDRB]

Maria Diaz’s heart pounded as she lay hidden beneath a pile of clothes, diapers and food in the trunk of a Chevy Suburban that slowed at a Texas highway checkpoint. [C-J/AKN]

The Louisville Metro Department of Corrections said jail conditions are becoming crowded as the inmate population is trading above 2,000, daily bookings are above historical numbers and the scheduled movement of state felons from jail to prison has slowed down. [WHAS11]

HEAD-DESK. Kentucky education and drug control officials are working with a pharmaceutical company that is offering two free doses of Narcan nasal spray for the emergency treatment of heroin and opioid overdose to every high school in the United States. For now, Fayette County Public School officials are declining the offer. [H-L]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! Basically, Louisville is going to melt because it is so dang hot. [WLKY]

President Barack Obama revealed on Saturday that his children helped him understand why embracing civil unions was not the same as endorsing marriage equality.” [HuffPo]

Yes, murders happen in the East End. There’s all kinds of violence outside of the West End. You just rarely hear about it. [WAVE3]

Ever wonder what kind of educational corruption there is outside Compassionate City? Dig in to the latest incoherent rant that a corrupt former superintendent submitted as his appeal to keep his certification. It’ll blow your mind. [Page One]

A large percentage of Louisville’s Census tracts are high-risk for exposure to lead. That’s according to a new map compiled by Vox and the Washington State Department of Health. [WFPL]

Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Bernie Sanders said in an interview broadcast Friday that he would wait to see what Hillary Clinton includes in her platform before deciding how actively to campaign for her in the fall if she is the party’s nominee. [WaPo]

During the introduction of ESPN broadcaster Kenny Mayne as the keynote speaker of the Kentucky Derby Festival’s They’re Off! Luncheon Friday at The Galt House Hotel, a montage of clips from Mayne’s humorous spoofs and stories for the sports network played on a large screen for visitors. [Business First]

This year’s Clark County Commissioners race has three Republican candidates angling for the District 1 seat in the primary election. [News & Tribune]

Need cheap mobile phone service? Maybe even for a backup cell phone? I’m talking $6/mo cheap? Use our Ting referral code and we’ll all get a sweet credit. You get $25 — enough for a couple months of service to determine whether you like it. Both CDMA and GSM options. For worriers: no, you don’t get identified to us if you use our link… so please consider letting us know if you do! [Ting]

Here’s Your Morning Dose Of Awfulness

The long-awaited study of Louisville’s urban heat islands will be unveiled next week, the city’s top air-quality official said Wednesday. [WDRB]

Moore Traditional School Principal Vicki Lete will not continue in her post after this school year, the school’s decision making council decided Monday. [C-J/AKN]

The Kentucky Cabinet for Health and Family Services in Frankfort ordered an emergency suspension on the license to operate for Lil’ Kings and Queens Daycare, located on Terry Road. [WHAS11]

He’s cool with raising taxes for a convention center most will never benefit from but wasn’t cool with helping small businesses or veterans. [H-L]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! Two men were shot and as many as three people are on the run after Louisville police said a home invasion on Wednesday led to a shootout at two locations. [WLKY]

The Obama administration is preparing to broaden its military campaign against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria by increasing the number of Special Operations forces who advise Syrian rebels, and it is also considering the addition of Army attack helicopters to the fight against militants in Iraq. [HuffPo]

The identities of two people killed in a hit and run crash on Poplar Level Road on Tuesday have been released by the Jefferson County Coroner’s Office. [WAVE3]

If you missed it yesterday, here’s your chance to get caught up. Be sure to check out Joshua Powell, a corrupt former school superintendent, attempting to keep public records secret. [Page One]

A few months ago, when they became available, I signed up to get an advanced meter installed on my house. It was one of the energy-efficiency programs Louisville Gas and Electric was offering, and I was intrigued by its promise of letting me more closely track my energy usage through an online dashboard. [WFPL]

A little over six months ago, Keeneland and Red Mile opened a gambling parlor with 902 instant racing machines and a joint simulcasting room at the harness track. [More H-L]

State and federal regulators are doing a deep dive on any and all possible concerns surrounding the proposed acquisition of Humana Inc. by Aetna Inc. [Business First]

When a destructive tornado tore through Henryville on March 2, 2012, Louella Aker didn’t stop to think twice about helping her friends and neighbors who had suffered damage from the storm. [News & Tribune]

Need cheap mobile phone service? Maybe even for a backup cell phone? I’m talking $6/mo cheap? Use our Ting referral code and we’ll all get a sweet credit. You get $25 — enough for a couple months of service to determine whether you like it. Both CDMA and GSM options. For worriers: no, you don’t get identified to us if you use our link… so please consider letting us know if you do! [Ting]

Insanity. Is There A Full Moon Or What?

Didn’t link to any of these stories yesterday because they’re all so horrifically sad. [WDRB]

The Independent Pilots Association, the collective bargaining unit for UPS pilots, is turning up the heat on the shipping giant by opening a strike operations center in Louisville. [C-J/AKN]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! Another day, another person dead from a gunshot in Compassionate City. [WHAS11]

Tim Longmeyer, a former secretary of the state Personnel Cabinet under former Gov. Steve Beshear, pleaded guilty in federal court Tuesday to bribery. [H-L]

A Jefferson County judge answered to charges of misconduct Tuesday. Judge Sheila Collins is accused of improperly jailing a victim of domestic violence who recanted her story last June. [WLKY]

Tea people just don’t like it when elected officials actually do their jobs. [HuffPo]

Decision-makers at Moore Traditional School decided not to appeal Vicki Lete’s removal as Principal of Moore Traditional School. [WAVE3]

The Kentucky Lottery has launched into online gambling, becoming the third state to offer lottery sales online after Michigan and Georgia. Minnesota implemented then banned online sales in 2015 after faith-based groups protested scratch-off sales. [More H-L]

When Aetna announced its move to buy Louisville born-and-bred insurer Humana last year, more than a few antitrust sirens sounded. [WFPL]

Former U.N. climate chief Christiana Figueres has credited faith groups for helping to advance the Paris Climate Agreement by supporting “holistic, equitable, but above all, ambitious climate action.” [ThinkProgress]

Don’t expect to see Papa Johns International Inc. introduce its own pizza delivery vehicle the way Domino’s did last year. [Business First]

It’s sometimes hard for people to grasp, but New Albany is ranked in the top three in the state on a list that has nothing to do with basketball. [News & Tribune]

Really. Fighting Against Solar Panels. Damn.

University of Louisville Board of Trustees Chairman Larry Benz said Thursday he has not changed his position of “no-confidence” in university President James Ramsey and that he would not stand in the way of the board taking a no-confidence vote. [WDRB]

It’s tough not to roll your eyes at people who fight against solar panels. [C-J/AKN]

It’s almost as if people are delusional enough to think they can stop their teabagger governor from destroying public education. Or instead of “desteroy”? Make it worse than it already is. [WHAS11]

“Get out! Leftist scum! Get out!” In the video, the bearded white man wears a black shirt and a red baseball cap with the words Make America Great Again. He is yelling at a young black woman. He shoves her once, then again, screaming at her to leave. The crowd around him is agitated. Others push the woman as well. Many are yelling. [H-L]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! Let’s not hold our breath over Greg Fischer’s transit plans. We should already know by now how these things play out in Compassionate City. [WLKY]

“It’s like one of those houses where an old lady lived with 100 cats who peed everywhere,” Maher said of the GOP. “That is your party today — a filthy, pee-stained house full of dead cats. [HuffPo]

Jail deaths don’t always get the attention that an unexpected death on the streets might get. But look at one case from Bullitt County, and you’ll see why WAVE 3 News wanted to take a closer look. [WAVE3]

New York City’s largest public pension is exiting all hedge fund investments in the latest sign that the $4 trillion public pension sector is losing patience with these often secretive portfolios at a time of poor performance and high fees. [Reuters]

Officials from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said earlier this week that the Zika virus is “scarier than we initially thought” and that states need to be ready for potentially widespread infections. [WFPL]

The federal Department of Education said on Tuesday it would offer to write off $7.7 billion of student debt owed by disabled individuals, taking a big step to streamline a loan forgiveness program long plagued by bureaucratic delay and inefficiency. [ProPublica]

A Minneapolis development firm that bought land at the 6,000-acre River Ridge Commerce Center in Jeffersonville last year plans to build a large speculative warehouse on the site. [Business First]

At least for now, West Clark Community Schools will leave its policy on out-of-district transfer students alone. [News & Tribune]

Need cheap mobile phone service? Maybe even for a backup cell phone? I’m talking $6/mo cheap? Use our Ting referral code and we’ll all get a sweet credit. You get $25 — enough for a couple months of service to determine whether you like it. Both CDMA and GSM options. For worriers: no, you don’t get identified to us if you use our link… so please consider letting us know if you do! [Ting]

Let’s Put On Our Fake Derby Happy Faces

Surprise! There are still people who ignorantly believe keeping a liquor store out of their neighborhood is going to solve all of their problems. Like her mother, Jessica Green is apparently delusional. Metro Councilwoman Jessica Green is trying to prevent property at 1200 S. 28th Street from becoming a liquor store. But the owner said he refuses to let it sit vacant any longer. [WDRB]

Mayor Greg Fischer wants to expand Louisville’s smoking ban to include electronic cigarettes and hookah, he announced Friday morning. [C-J/AKN]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! This is not compassionate. There’s nothing compassionate about Louisville at the moment. Not when there are countless deaths from guns, drugs and automobiles. Anyone who attempts to claim everything is puppies and rainbows out to be immediately taken to a physician for an evaluation. [WHAS11]

Noah Greenhill, 10, stood attentively Tuesday morning at the side of Gov. Matt Bevin in the state Capitol as he watched the governor ceremonially sign into law a bill that will help reduce his medical expenses. The governor gave the first pen he used to sign the bill to the youngster from Pikeville. [H-L]

WARNING! RIDICULOUS AUTOPLAY VIDEO! What the hell is wrong with people!? [WLKY]

Massey Energy CEO Don Blankenship was sentenced to just one year for safety violations at a West Virginia mine that led to the deaths of 29 miners in a 2010 explosion. Now, one woman is working to push Blankenship to reflect on his crimes. Ann Bybee-Finley, who grew up in Hurricane, West Virginia, launched a campaign called “Making one year count” on Wednesday, calling on people to send letters to Blankenship every day that he is in prison. [HuffPo]

The way your child is graded in Jefferson County could soon change – again. [WAVE3]

President Obama made headlines recently as the first U.S. leader to visit Cuba since the communist revolution. The two neighboring countries have resumed diplomatic relations and are taking cautious steps toward full normalization, including trade and travel. [Richmond Register]

Yes, a liberal Democrat can win a statewide election in Kentucky but it will not be Sellus Wilder. If you weren’t sure there could be a worse statewide candidate than Jim Gray, here you go. You can thank Christy Brown for hyping up his candidacy. [WFPL]

Pope Francis has accepted the resignation of his ambassador to the United States who was behind Francis’ controversial meeting with Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who went to jail rather than comply with a court order to issue same-sex marriage licenses. [TPM]

A project that could cost as much as $87 million to construct along the southeast corner of the 6,000-acre River Ridge Commerce Center in Jeffersonville should enter its next phase this fall. [Business First]

After a several-hour-long executive session in the morning and early afternoon, the River Ridge Development Authority held a public meeting Friday to give site project updates. [News & Tribune]

Need cheap mobile phone service? Maybe even for a backup cell phone? I’m talking $6/mo cheap? Use our Ting referral code and we’ll all get a sweet credit. You get $25 — enough for a couple months of service to determine whether you like it. Both CDMA and GSM options. For worriers: no, you don’t get identified to us if you use our link… so please consider letting us know if you do! [Ting]