A University of Louisville professor doesn’t believe rallies will end violence. Because guess what? They won’t. [FOX41]

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is not backing down on its promise to engage in the most aggressive campaign operation in its 100 year history, despite a recent court decision that would require disclosure of secret donors behind issue ads. [Politico]

Here’s a teevee story about the Ohio River Bridges Debacle allegedly creating thousands of jobs. No mention, of course, that those jobs will eventually land in Indiana and thousands of others will move there. [WAVE3]

Nope, no one turned out to vote. So few voted, in fact, that it is embarrassing to be a Kentuckian at the moment. [H-L]

WHAS11 spent an entire 11:00 P.M. segment last night on this lady sex book called “Fifty Shades of Grey” because it is apparently big, important news on election night. [WHAS11]

What’s that? You mean the Metro Sewer District wants to raise your rates another 6.5% and they waited until election day to hide that news? Surely not! [C-J/AKN]

Bullying is a real issue, sure, even on Facebook. But targeting online bullying isn’t going to stop the violence occurring in Louisville’s streets. [WLKY]

BRAVE PATRIOT Teabagger Birther Marilyn Parker is now essentially a Louisville Metro Council member. PEE ALERT. Let’s take this trip down the crazy lane. [The 'Ville Voice]

Despite Louisville’s attempts to build a healthy culture around biking through the addition of bicycle lanes across the city and promotion of events such as last week’s Bike to Work Day, Kentucky overall has been less bike friendly, according to a new study. [Business First]

What? Metro Parks needs work? You don’t say. Louisville has scored near the bottom on a new ranking of park systems in the nation’s 40 largest cities. The city came in 38th. [WFPL]

Why the hell did it take a judge to decide it was okay for a kid to wear a gay t-shirt? [WKYT]

Do you need a pee-alert worthy story to read this morning? Check out this piece by a woman offering suggestions of what to do in Louisville during March Madness. It includes such highlights as the “pedestrian mall” called Fourth Street Live and Louisville Mega Cavern. Because those are obviously the most terrific things Louisville has to offer. [H-L]

The corrupt folks running Kentucky Retirement Systems (translation: Greg Fischer’s top guy, Tommy E) got another, official free pass from Jack Conway. [Page One]

The local economy is so jacked that GE received 10,000 applications for just 230 jobs. [FOX41]

Do your eyes roll back in your head when Greg Fischer trots something that someone else has done out to take credit for himself? Just like he’s doing with this asthma study? [C-J/AKN]

Apparently, the most important news story ever is that UPS is running a television spot featuring basketball game footage from 20 years ago. [WAVE3]

Surely we’re not the only ones who look at this Jim King-Downtown Management District-Grease Bucket Arena deal with a raised eyebrow. [Business First]

You can’t even go to a hotel in New Albany without nearly drowning these days. [WHAS11]

Childhood asthma rates are rising as mouth-breathers threaten clean air rules. This is exactly what the United States needs. [HuffPo]

What the hell is going on in Pleasure Ridge Park? Kids getting arrested at school and bomb squads being called to homes? Surely something is in the water in the South End. [WLKY]

A new report is urging policymakers to consider the long-term sustainability of the coal severance fund in Kentucky. [WFPL]

A few days ago we rolled our eyes over Greg Fischer snubbing a Portland community meeting because he was on “vacation.” Here’s betting he won’t miss his meeting with the Frankfort Avenue Business Association, though, because it involves people with money. ['Ville Voice Flashback]

Jack Conway is taking a big hit in a new report on attorneys general and trial lawyers. Naturally, his opponent and the statewide press are missing in action. [Page One]

Pro-tip to Brandon Coan – who loves to foam at the mouth about us to his pals: food truck operators are well aware that the restrictions already existed. And that’s what they’re complaining about. At least get your spin closer to reality before spouting off. [WFPL]

Here we are. Another embarrassing three-page story about the Louisville Orchestra flustercuck. [C-J/AKN]

Yesterday Orange Man John Boehner complained – yet again – about Occupy Wall Street protesters. Because they’re obviously a huge threat to life as we know it. Ha. [HuffPo]

LG&E will be cited again after more flyash was detected on area homes. This is why Louisville can’t have nice things. [FOX41]

The Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen is now open on Frankfort Avenue and you probably need to get there posthaste. They have booze. [Consuming Louisville]

So maybe things aren’t all puppies and rainbows with the closure of ear X-tacy. Now people are struggling to get their merchandise back. Seems a little too soon to complain but whatever. [WAVE3]

Guess the mainstream was wrong about Richie Farmer’s ad being the last for the Williams-Farmer campaign. Robyn Williams stars in the campaign’s latest spot. [Page One]

Louisville ranks 44 out of 938 metro areas for total businesses, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. [Business First]

What the heck is in the water in Louisville? Some crazy ass beat a man to death with a baseball bat. [WHAS11]

Here’s a hyped headline: “Mayor’s Son Arrested On Meth Charges” – nope, not Greg Fischer’s kid. And not Jerry Abramson’s. Can you imagine how crazy the city would have been if the mainstream ever bothered reporting the actions of Jerry’s kid when all the shenanigans went down? [WLKY]

What we don’t understand is why it was important for Greg Fischer to promote the opening, spend tons of time there and then spend additional time writing about it on Facebook and Twitter.

This isn’t to demonize Greg but a general WTF question. Because we thought everything was falling apart at the seams. Surprised there’s time for ice cream during the work day.

Two more Transportation Cabinet employees have been fired. We hear Billie Johnson and her dad, Bill, haven’t contributed to Steve Beshear and his candidates for some time. Bill did, however, donate to the Fletcher-Pence inaugural committee. So time sheet violations? Haha. Right. This is Beshear firing her because her family dislikes him. Just like he nixed Jerry Lundergan’s Kentucky Horse Park contracts. [H-L]

Yesterday marked the 103rd day Republican Party of Kentucky Chairman Steve Robertson questioned Jack Conway: “It’s time for Conway to tear down his wall of silence and answer the questions about this investigation,” said Robertson. “Surpassing day 100 of this saga without a word from Conway is beyond outrageous. It’s time for our Attorney General to be held accountable and come clean.” [Press Release]

The Homemade Ice Cream & Pie Kitchen is moving to Frankfort Avenue – just across the street from the new Comfy Cow. We’re all going to get super-fat. [Broken Sidewalk]

What is it with teabaggers trying to re-segregate the public school system all over the country? [HuffPo]

We hear through the gayvine that the head of Metro EMS may possess a New York drivers license. If that’s the case, wouldn’t that disqualify him from, you know, heading up his agency? And his family still lives in New York – there’s no way he’s in Louisville permanently. [Deep Metro Failures]

Look how confused Greg Fischer, Chris Poynter and Robert White look while they’re trying to figure out the Twitter. [C-J/AKN]

Remember that time over the weekend when the apocalypse hit part of the Highlands? [Consuming Louisville]

What? TWO Oldham County schools hit with Title IX violations? [WLEX18]

Still without electricity? LG&E explains the order in which customers get power back. [FOX41]

An Australian man was arrested in Louisville on charges of strapping a fake bomb to a girl outside of Sydney. This was apparently a big deal and every outlet in the city is obsessed with it. [H-L]

A bankruptcy judge approved of the Louisville Orchestra’s plan. [Business First]

Seems like just yesterday Masterson’s was standing at this location in Old Louisville. [WHAS11]

FINALLY! The mainstream remembers why there are problems with MSD and Bud Schardein. [C-J/AKN]

Let’s decipher coal’s job impact. And let’s assume everything Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul say about coal and the environment is off by two-thirds. [H-L]

I hear through the gayvine that a progressive blogger and a couple younger pals have a new Fake Jake Twitter account and website to go along with the dozen or so others. How cute. Always trying to make me more money while they’re unemployed. [Deep Twitter Thoughts]

Greg Fisher is encouraging the Rubbertown plant operators to be – get this – TRANSPARENT. HAHA. Hypocrisy at its finest, indeed. [WFPL]

The green light has been given to destroy Genny’s Diner. A lot of you folks will have meltdowns over it but that places is disgusting and hideous. Frankfort Avenue will benefit a million times over. [WAVE3]

New county health rankings aren’t so great for the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Take a look at the top ten and bottom ten counties. [Page One]

The bridges “authority” says it’s trying to cut the costs of the bridges plan. Again. [FOX41]

The Ohio River Bridges project timeline could be cut in half. But most financing questions remain unanswered. [News and Tribune]

Mitch McConnell is dedicating every waking moment to killing the Environmental Protection Agency. Because he gets his pockets lined? Because he doesn’t care about reality? [Bluegrass Politics]

Yes, we know the circus is pretty horrible when it comes to animal abuse. But seeing heffalumps all over downtown is pretty exciting. [WHAS11]

Um… there is a grilled cheese food truck. Everybody go find it ASAP and tell us how amazing it is and if they have anything that’s gluten-free. [Consuming Louisville]

It’s a shame Hal Heiner wouldn’t answer questions about whether he’d veto domestic partner benefits as mayor. Last night’s “debate” was awful on all fronts and it proved the city has no solid leader for the future. Greg Fischer may be the worst candidate the Democrats have put forth in decades, but at least he has the guts not to run from the gays. Runs from honesty and transparency, true, but not the gays. [Gag]

Go watch this terrific web documentary called Detroit Lives and tell me you don’t feel a whole lot of Louisville in those shots. But in a good way. [Palladium Boots]

Are you gonna Take Back The Night this evening at the University of Louisville? [WFPL]

The gays are just cold going insane over the revelation that the Scissor Sisters will be opening for Lady Gaga on March 12 in Louisville. All gay-haters would be wise to leave Louisville the weekend of March 12, for every single person within 500 miles who loves them a meat dress and some Night Work queens will be in full froth. YES. [Backseat Sandbar]

What? WDRD going dark on September 30? Disney is set to sell the station, along with three others they own. [Various Reports]

Today at 11:00, Greg Fischer will release his “plan” for creating open, honest government. How many ideas will he borrow from Hal Heiner? And when will he offer transparency for what he’s currently involved in? Still waiting. [Press Release]

Todd Lally thinks Iraq attacked the United States on 9/11. [We Get Comments]

What’s with assholes targeting cyclists in the area? Why the extreme bitterness and ignorance? [FOX 41]

The Comfy Cow is taking over Genny’s Diner and the historic home Genny’s owner has tried to demolish for years. Really excited that we don’t have strippers to look forward to on Frankfort Avenue. [Broken Sidewalk]

Cordish is notorious for discriminating on the basis of race. You surprised that they’re getting sued in Kansas City? [Fat Lip]

Ryan Alessi’s fancy new U.S. Senate poll has Rand Paul leading Jack Conway 40.6 to 31.4 with undecideds at 27. 12.3% have a very favorable opinion of Jack, 32.6% somewhat favorable, 12.8% somewhat unfavorable, 8.3% very unfavorable, 34.5% unsure. 19.7% have a very favorable opinion of Rand Paul, 30.1% somewhat favorable, 9.8% somewhat unfavorable, 15.9% very unfavorable. [Ryan Alessi]

Now that the Karen Sypher – Rick Pitino 15 seconds of sexytime trial is over? We can stop dry heaving. [FOX 41]

And go watch this coverage of the Syper – Pitino nightmare. The part where Claudia Coffey says Sypher is transferring custody of her daughter to her son is interesting. [WHAS11]

Tomorrow’s the art car parade on Frankfort Avenue. Go see the teabagger lady in her bumper sticker-covered van. If you’re a dirty librul, be sure to ask her tons and tons of questions on video and put them on the googlebox. [Art Car Weekend]

The Sypher – Pitino sexytime jurors are speaking to the media. How are these people not dry heaving? [WAVE3]

Big blind item: Does anyone else think it’s alarming and reprehensible that a former candidate for elected office and veteran would tell a current veteran running for office that they aren’t a “real veteran” (and mean it, getting snippy) because they weren’t in the “right” branch of the military? These are the people calling themselves “leaders” these days. And I’m disgusted. [Blind Item]

The annual Taste of Frankfort Avenue will take place at the Clifton Center on Payne Street. Sunday, June 27. 4:00 to 7:00 P.M. $40. [Press Release]

LG&E and KU reached a settlement with the groups that objected to a massive rate increase. [WHAS11]

Does this mean Fairdale is finally going to get its new library? [FOX41]

The Shawnee Expressway (a portion of I-264) is being renamed in honor of Senator Georgie Davis Powers. [Press Release]

Metro Council’s budget hearings will continue today. 1:00 to 6:00 P.M. Animal Services, Fire, EMS, Corrections, EMA/Metro Safe. [Press Release]

Work on renovations beneath the Second Street bridge got underway yesterday. Long time coming! [FOX41, WFPL & WLKY]

Should the Metro Council tack on $25 to $50 in taxes for those who use alarm systems? In an economy that’s already falling apart? When no one has a job? When crime isn’t disappearing? What do you think? [C-J]

You definitely need to see The Glass menagerie at the Water Tower. [Consuming Louisville]

Massey Energy and Don Blankenship are on the war path, trashing the MSHA in letters to governors. What is it with folks who never take responsibility and always want to blame the government for everything? [H-L]

Here she is making an announcement about rounding them up:

Here are the orange cans the old people will be stuffed in:

And here’s a shot of the cans being emptied into the old people truck:

We applaud the 9th District Metro Councilcritter for furthering Binack Nobama’s old people death camp plans.