We’re in the midst of the Second Annual Golden Poo Awards and your nominations are needed! Jump into the golden mix of hilarity! [Page One]

Kentucky’s got a new gubernatorial slate from the teabaggers: Phil Moffett & Mike Harmon. [Moffett-Harmon]

On Wednesday, the U.S. House approved Rep. John Yarmuth’s $534,000 funding request for the Kentucky Air National Guard’s emergency response unit. The funds will be used to build a new facility in Louisville that will house the Contingency Response Group. [Press Release]

Here is the dilly: you need to eat at these places in the East Market/NuLu District ASAP. [Click the Clicky]

The new arena opens in just a couple months. You ready for the influx of people downtown when you’re just trying to get home from work, among other things? We are! [WFPL]

Your school should take part in this year’s mock election. The Secretary of State could come visit you. [Civic Literacy]

Fairdale Bigfoot has a few good tips for dealing with the intense summer heat. [Consuming Louisville]

Karen Sypher’s ex-husband says she’s nuts. Will it float? [WAVE3]

Rick Pitino says Sypher is a great actress. Call us crazy, but, that’s crazy. Every teevee viewer on earth thinks she’s wonky, even if she’s innocent. If you don’t want to toss your cookies this early in the morning, do not read about the sexytime. [FOX 41]

Read the latest press release from PVA candidate Corey Koellner, sent out last evening:

Louisville, KY – Jefferson County’s Property Valuation Administrator (PVA) threatened to throw Corey Koellner, a candidate for his job, out of Willow Park this past Sunday while Koellner was attending one of the summer concerts with his wife and two supporters. Koellner may respond by filing an Ethics Complaint with the Kentucky Executive Branch Ethics Commission.

Tony Lindauer, Jefferson County PVA, approached Koellner after he had finished talking with one of his former teachers who was also in the park for the concert and agreed to wear a ‘Koellner for PVA’ sticker. Lindauer, upset and frustrated, indicated to his opponent he could enjoy the concert but was not permitted to provide campaign stickers to anyone in attendance. Lindauer proceeded to say he would have Koellner thrown out of the park if he failed to comply with his request, referencing a permit in place with Metro Louisville for the concerts.

Surprised by Lindauer’s composure and insistence, Koellner reminded him Willow Park is a public location and he was attending a public event. Then Koellner walked away.

The summer concerts in Willow Park are partially sponsored by the Cherokee Triangle Association (CTA). Lindauer often serves as emcee for the concerts, but is neither an officer or trustee for the CTA. While the PVA claimed a permit would allow him to oust his opponent from the event, Bonnie McGrath of Metro Louisville’s Department of Codes & Regulations stated Monday there are no permits on file with Codes & Regulations for the 2010 Willow Park Concert Series. A Facility Agreement is in place with Metro Parks; however, the agreement contains no language supporting the PVA’s claims.

Responding to the event, Koellner said “There is no room for these type of intimidation tactics in our political process. It seems some politicians will stop at nothing to maintain their office. My opponent should be more concerned about ensuring people in Jefferson County are fairly treated and their properties accurately assessed.”

Can you breathe after all that laughter?

Not sure why he’d file an ethics complaint since lapel stickers in a park have nothing to do with being a government official?

This is maybe the most hilarious thing to happen in a race for Property Valuation Administrator in… ever.

Hahaha.

Seriously – the wheels are falling off the Abramson-Corrections wagon. We’ve told you about said wagon for a couple years. Now it’s coming full circle. [FOX41]

Four people are running to fill a vacant seat on the Jefferson County Public Schools Board of Education. [Toni Konz]

Metro Council’s budget hearings will continue today from 1:00 to 4:00 P.M. Streets and Roads, Fleet, Facilities and Solid Waste Management. [Press Release]

Louisville State Rep. Larry Clark isn’t just a bigot, he’s a liar. The worst kind. [Page One]

You, like Sarah Kelley, can do better. Much better. And you should. [LEO Weekly]

Fairdale Bigfoot is back with some serious dating advice. [Consuming Louisville]

Branden Klayko has disappeared and no one knows where he is. His googlebox hasn’t been updated in a long time and people are ready for him to start furiously typing. [Broken Sidewalk]

• 36    Vote Buying/Selling
• 30    Procedural Questions
• 15    Election Officials
• 11    Electioneering within 300 feet of Polls
• 8      Voting Machine
• 7      Legal Question
• 6      General Election Fraud/Other
• 3     Special or Absentee Ballot
• 3     Exit Polling
• 1     Disrupting Polls
• 1     Campaign Violation

According to the release, investigators with the Office of the Attorney General conducted on-site surveys of polling places across Kentucky. Agents were able to provide timely response to allegations of voting irregularities.

Democratic Judge-Executive Race Total: 58,590

• Wesley Stover 13,908
• Bryan Matthews 17,660
• Paul Robertson 15,845
• Curt Morrison 11,177

Republican U.S. House Race Total: 42,257

• Larry Hausman 10,626
• Brooks Wicker 2,585
• Todd Lally 21,910
• Jeff Reetz 7,136

Just saying.  No wonder the NRCC isn’t targeting the district.

But here’s what concerns me: 45,016 people voted for other Democratic candidates in that race. And there were 48,510 Republican votes cast for candidates on the R side.

Since the Republican Party of Kentucky won’t have to focus much on the U.S. Senate race (the teabaggers will take care of that for them) and since this is the first real shot in a long time at a Republican mayor in Louisville… What will happen? Will RPK focus its attention on Louisville?

Take a look at the Democratic map below. Tyler Allen is the purple speck. David Tandy is dark green. Jim King is bright green. Greg Fischer cleaned up in blue.

• Tyler Allen won a single precinct, L143, by a single vote (15) over David Tandy (14). It’s a geographically small area west of downtown.
• David Tandy really showed his strength in the western and central parts of town.
• Jim King won less than 40 (CORRECTION – 49 precincts, according to the King Camp) precincts.

Now check out the Republican map:

• Jonathan Robertson won two precincts in the West End.
• Chris Thieneman held his own in the southern and southwestern parts of town.
• And Hal Heiner cleaned up everywhere in green.

Thoughts on all this without getting nasty? It is the day after election day, after all.

Louisville may be “weird” but it certainly doesn’t like its candidates with any fancy flair.

The polls close in Louisville in about 30 minutes at 6:00 P.M. Eastern, so check back here for updates on the mayoral & U.S. House races:

Mayor
Democrats – 83% reporting

• Greg Fischer – 45.08% – 37,157
  
• Burrel Farnsley – 1.25% – 1,042
• David Tandy – 20.97% – 16,417
• Lisa Moxley – 1.34% – 1,111
• Jim King – 18.84% – 15,778
• Shannon White – 2.15% – 1,773
• Tyler Allen – 9.09% – 7,817
• Connie Marshall – 1.28% – 1,078

Republicans – with 83% reporting

• Jonathan Robertson – 4% – 1,919
• Chris Thieneman – 29% – 13,877
• Hal Heiner – 67% – 32,714
  

U.S. Congress – 3rd District Republicans

• Larry Hausman – 25% – 10,534
• Brooks Wicker – 6.% – 2,562
• Todd Lally – 52% – 21,782
  
• Jeff Reetz – 17% – 7,060

While there are several other local races in the Louisville area, there’s not enough time in the day to track everything. I’ll potentially update the story throughout the night with some of those races as time permits. So check back.

Visit Page One for results in other state races.

NOTE: Jack Conway & Rand Paul won their respective U.S. Senate races. See P1 for deets.

Wondering where your preferred candidate will be?

Louisville Mayoral Candidates

• David Tandy - Henry Clay, Tavern Room, 604 S. 3rd Street
• Jim King – Zeppelin Cafe, 1036 E. Burnette
• Greg Fischer - Downtown Marriott, 2nd Floor
• Tyler Allen – Bluegrass Brewing Co, 636 E. Main
• Shannon White - Molly Malone’s in St. Matthews
• Hal Heiner - Campaign HQ, 6403 Dutchmans Parkway
• Chris Thieneman - Ernesto’s, 10105 Dixie Highway

U.S. Senate Candidates

• Jack Conway - Downtown Marriott
• Daniel Mongiardo – Capital Plaza, 405 Wilkinson Blvd in Frankfort
• Rand Paul – Bowling Green Country Club, 251 Beech Bend Road, BG

U.S. Congressional Candidates

• Larry Hausman - Campaign HQ, 9420 Shelbyville Road
• Brooks Wicker – Fox and Hound Pub & Grille, Oxmoor

No clue where the rest will be. Either they haven’t responded to my request for info or they aren’t holding events.

On May 3, 2010, Gov. Steve Beshear declared a state of emergency in response to the storms. The emergency declaration triggers several consumer protection measures that will be in place for 30 days. It also empowers me to investigate and prosecute, where appropriate, those who sell gasoline, generators, building supplies, chain saws, hotel rooms and other necessary goods and services at exorbitant prices in a time of disaster.

I have put Kentucky businesses on notice that price-gouging will not be tolerated in Kentucky. I will not allow families that have been hurt by this storm to be victimized a second time by unscrupulous individuals who prey on their vulnerability. In fact, I launched a price-gouging investigation in the wake of Hurricane Ike and the subsequent windstorm that swept across Kentucky in September 2009 that resulted in recoveries of more than $100,000 involving eight retail gasoline stations in seven Kentucky counties.

I encourage anyone with specific information regarding possible price-gouging to email pricecomplaints@ag.ky.gov or call my Consumer Protection Hotline at 888-432-9257.

I also urge Kentuckians who have suffered storm damage to follow these important tips:

• Never pay in advance for repair work or materials. Scam artists often take advance payments from consumers and never return to complete the work.
• Use local, reputable contractors for repairs, if possible.
• Ask if the contractor is licensed, bonded and insured.
• Check unknown companies out with the Better Business Bureau.
• Demand a written contract.

Read the rest from Conway after the jump…

If your vehicle has suffered water damage, please keep the following tips in mind:

• Check your oil. A reading of an oil level that is too high may indicate water in the engine.
• If you have a car loan, notify your lender of the damage.
• Act quickly to determine the vehicle’s current NADA average prior to the flood damage. You will need to know this when dealing with an insurance provider or lender.

Combating Election Fraud

With the May 18th primary election just two weeks away, I want Kentucky voters to know that my office will do everything in its power to ensure an honest and fair election. My office has been working closely with the Secretary of State and U.S. Attorney’s office to prepare for the upcoming election.

I’ll have investigators from my office on the ground patrolling precincts and polling places across the Commonwealth looking for election law violations. We will investigate any such violations and take the appropriate enforcement action.

But we also need your help. We need the eyes and ears of Kentucky voters to make sure election laws are being upheld. If you notice any suspicious activity or voting irregularities on Election Day, please call my Election Fraud Hotline at 1-800-328-VOTE (8683).

Working together, I know we can ensure that Kentuckians across the Commonwealth will have their voices heard when they cast their ballots on May 18th.

This guy seems to have a healthy sense of irony/good sense of humor about running for an office with no powers, duties or pay.

Buying stock in Depends.