Dougie Hawkins just dropped out?!

Say it isn’t so!

Who will protect our white women?!

UPDATE: Nope! He’s back.

Praise Allah!

We are saved.

Also, remember this?

The things we hear get worse every day.

So with all the negatives floating heavily in our offices, it makes sense to focus on something positive.

Okay, so it’s only positive in the sense that Louisville is no longer home to the most prominent fearer of non-whites in the Commonwealth. That title has been handed from Dougie Hawkins to State Senator Ray Jones, who is so afraid of the Messicans he can’t sit still.

Jones looks positively magnificent in that sombrero.

Jerry Abramson anticipates an Urban Services extension in Louisville. [WFPL]

In New York City, breaking up bigger schools into smaller ones is being touted as a reform solution. Could it work in Louisville? We’re open to trying just about anything to change and improve Jefferson County Public Schools. [PBS Newshour]

Farmers’ markets are going year-round all over the place. Which means we’re getting more and more excited for the NuLu market as time goes by. [HuffPo]

Did you don a Speedo and some Dougie Hawkins Brand Tan In A Can to walk in the cold for charity? Here’s hoping. [FOX 41]

Oh, here’s hoping Indiana starts selling booze on Sunday. Cause once tolls are implemented, Louisville will sell out of everything on Saturday nights. [More WFPL]

Really, Louisville? We can’t even making it through the holidays without someone getting killed? You couldn’t just drink some bourbon (or a lot of it) to numb the pain for a while? [WAVE3]

Please recycle your dang Christmas tree instead of just leaving it on your front lawn. [WHAS11]

He’s right. Kentucky needs a fair and equitable tax system. If David Williams wanted to win over Democrats in a big way, he’d push comprehensive tax reform and force Steve Beshear to continue fighting against it. And not just the standard big business Republican tax reform – real tax reform for real people who live in the real world. [Ralph Long]

Jackie Green still thinks he’s running for mayor and spams the entirety of the local press corps every day with emails. This morning, he sent along a story about light rail but failed to include a solid link. So here it is for those unable to locate the original. [NPR]

UPDATE: We found out why old people freeze to death. LG&E’s web forms don’t work and their telephone system says to call back later. Haha. Thank goodness it’s not an emergency.

Here it is (be sure to crank the volume up):

So long, Dougie. May your district finally have representation that isn’t a solid and constant no.

Here’s my favorite:

The people of Louisville’s 25th District made history when they voted out this Howard the Duck-doppelganger. As the first elected member of the post-merger council to be ousted by voters, Hawkins’ fear mongering and petulance won’t be missed. His penchant for exaggerating cannot be overstated: Hawkins railed against the “threat” of Mexican immigrants, lambasted “Possibility City” advertisements for lampooning erectile dysfunction, and threw a bonafide tantrum over an ammunition storage facility in his district. The south Louisville Republican has earned a special place in the bowels of Metro government, if not a place in the heart of his perceived antagonist, outgoing Mayor Jerry Abramson.

Penance: Dress up as giant burrito to promote South End taquerias

¡Me llamo Dougie!

In related news: Marty Meyer, former State Senate candidate and Rep. John Yarmuth’s district representative for four years, will be serving as David Yates’ (Hawkins’ victorious opponent) legislative assistant. Yates will be sworn in on December 15, 6:00 P.M., Southwest Gubmint Center:

And a Dougie-free era will be ushered in. Amen.

We shall never forget the sombrero and self-tanner, Dougie!

In the closing days of this year’s campaign, Yates levied more accusations, alleging that Hawkins was behind a series of robocalls that referred to Yates as a liberal who supported “militant lesbians” and attacking his faith. A day before the polls opened, Yates blamed Hawkins for 300 missing yard signs and filed a report with Louisville Metro Police.

In a LEO interview, Hawkins denied those charges. Asked if his voting record and controversial stances had caught up with him, Hawkins blamed his loss on Yates’ negative campaigning.

“I think people were misled in this election and are going to see that fairly soon actually,” says Hawkins, who hasn’t ruled out running in 2014. “I think the hate mail coming out in the end, telling people that I voted against police, fire and EMS or that I voted for the porno industry, all that crap. People will see clearly that wasn’t the case.”

Click here to read the entire article in this week’s LEO.

Funny how he never takes responsibility for his ridiculous voting record. Votes saw right through that.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how pissed is Dougie?

All right. You know how this works. But this time? Please keep it hilarious.

We all know Dougie Hawkins, proud protector of ignorance and Our White Women, has been put out on the curb by voters in the 25th Metro Council District.

So what should he do next? Move to a border state to protect everybody from the Messicans?

Maybe open a spray tan shop?

What?

Let’s help him select a new career path with some terrific suggestions.

Here’s what he said in a release:

Today Yates dropped a mail piece telling voters about the $7,000 worth of neighborhood funds that Hawkins has spent on the Private, East End Soccer Club, Javanon. “Doug Hawkins took dollars designated to rejuvenate our neighborhood and have them to his friends in the east end so their families could play soccer for a private club,” Yates declared. “That’s unacceptable. Our Neighborhoods and Community deserve a partner on Metro Council who will reinvest our tax dollars in our community, not the east end.” Javanon is the same 23,000 sq. ft. Soccer Club that was constructed in a residential neighborhood (Tucker Station) without city approval, and required an illegal, secret backroom meeting to get off the ground. Allegations unearthed by the TheVilleVoice.com “exposed a routine way of doing business in the city’s Planning Department, one that all-too-often favors developers at the expense of the actual rules and the rights of neighbors. It exposed the fact that attorneys for developers exert pressure on BOZA members and the too-easy access they have, to the point that if requested, they can persuade officials to hold illegal meetings to make sure things go the way they want in public.”

“We learned two important lesson with this one debacle: First, south end neighborhood funds need to be reinvested into the south end. Period. Second, our system of government must be more transparent and accountable to taxpayers. No more back room deals or secret meetings,” Yates said.

Get a look at the mail piece here:

FRONT – CLICK TO ENLARGE

BACK – CLICK TO ENLARGE

Hawkins will probably win, but it’s worth pointing out that Yates has run a terrific campaign.