What?! Dougie Hawkins just dropped out?! Say it isn’t so! Who will protect our white women?! UPDATE: Nope! He’s back.

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Because he’s trying to run against Chris Theineman for the 37th District State Senate seat. Praise Allah! We are saved. Also, remember this?

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We’ve definitely spent most of our afternoon feeling disgusted by Metro Animal Services and the utter level of inaction on the part of Greg Fischer. The things we hear get worse every day. So with all the negatives floating heavily in our offices, it makes sense to focus on something positive. Okay, so it’s only [...]

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That guy using a chainsaw on Dixie the other day, causing an assplosion? Turns out he was allegedly stealing… err… “cutting” some pipe. I have confirmed that it was not Rep. Joni Jenkins wearing a fake beard. No word on whether it was Dougie Hawkins, though. [H-L] Jerry Abramson anticipates an Urban Services extension in [...]

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From last Thursday’s Metro Councillcritter shenanigans comes Doug Hawkins’ tear-filled farewell address. Here it is (be sure to crank the volume up): So long, Dougie. May your district finally have representation that isn’t a solid and constant no.

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Shoo, LEO is bringing the funny today. Here’s my favorite: The people of Louisville’s 25th District made history when they voted out this Howard the Duck-doppelganger. As the first elected member of the post-merger council to be ousted by voters, Hawkins’ fear mongering and petulance won’t be missed. His penchant for exaggerating cannot be overstated: [...]

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Let us all pause for a moment of silence for Dougie Protectin Our White Women Hawkins and the end of his Metro Council career. In related news: Marty Meyer, former State Senate candidate and Rep. John Yarmuth’s district representative for four years, will be serving as David Yates’ (Hawkins’ victorious opponent) legislative assistant. Yates will [...]

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Doug Hawkins blamed his loss on negative campaigning: In the closing days of this year’s campaign, Yates levied more accusations, alleging that Hawkins was behind a series of robocalls that referred to Yates as a liberal who supported “militant lesbians” and attacking his faith. A day before the polls opened, Yates blamed Hawkins for 300 [...]

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All right. You know how this works. But this time? Please keep it hilarious. We all know Dougie Hawkins, proud protector of ignorance and Our White Women, has been put out on the curb by voters in the 25th Metro Council District. So what should he do next? Move to a border state to protect [...]

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Yesterday, David Yates dropped a new mail piece discussing Doug “Protecting Our White Women” Hawkins’ corruption and involvement in the Javanon scandal. Here’s what he said in a release: Today Yates dropped a mail piece telling voters about the $7,000 worth of neighborhood funds that Hawkins has spent on the Private, East End Soccer Club, [...]

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