Maybe Barbara Shanklin should have thought about both nepotism and her grandson’s shenanigans before hiring him. Her pleas fall on deaf ears at this point. [WFPL]

Check out this crazy guy who attacked a man in District Court with a three-foot tree limb. [FOX41]

Here’s a nice look at how Louisvillians will be screwed by the Louisville Water Company and Metro Sewer District. BEND OVER AND GRAB YOUR ANKLES! [C-J/AKN]

Louisville really is Possibility City. Because there’s a distinct possibility that you’re going to be found shot to death. [WAVE3]

Lexington is trying like crazy to be just like Louisville. That town has gone so far as to start killing pedestrians on a daily basis. [H-L]

What would you do if you found a strange man in your house at 4:00 A.M. only wearing a shirt? [WHAS11]

Is Thomas Massie a big time jobs creator? Not so much. And he’s following directly in Rand Paul’s hypocritical footsteps. [Page One Here & Here]

WLKY is playing captain obvious this week. The latest hyped up story is about how many uninsured drivers there are on the roads. [WLKY]

For real – Lexington’s financial future is called bleak. It’s absolutely trying to mimic everything Louisville does. [Business First]

Metro Animal Services says it wants to find who shot and killed this dog. We’re more worried about finding someone who can actually run Metro Animal Services without killing a thousand animals each month. [More FOX41]

If the state legislature approves this LWC-MSD merger? You can just start bending over right now. It won’t save consumers any cash but will certainly make it easier for people like Bud Shart… her… Schardein to pocket mountains of cash. [84WHAS]

We’re fans of 21C but that thing is both gigantic and hideous. It’ll be defaced in 3, 2… [C-J/AKN]

What was that, again, about people in Southern Indiana being 100% supporting of the Ohio River Bridges Debacle? [The Beer Man]

This Fairdale man dragged and tortured a dog to death. So it’s probably time for him to be hitched to the back of a truck and dragged for a few miles. Eye for an eye, right? Isn’t that how people are operating these days? [FOX41]

The best cities in America for women to live? Don’t worry, Louisville isn’t one of them. [HuffPo]

Po-leece in Nawbny have asked the FBI to help with that massive murder investigation going on. [WAVE3]

With all of the press about Wild Turkey launching a television campaign, you’d think it was the best bourbon on earth. [Business First]

Weird. Now WHAS11 is admitting it runs stories based on press releases…? This one is about Nawbny police saying Gibson fits the definition of a serial killer. Southern Indiana has its ver own serial killer. Sunny Side! [WHAS11]

Most Kentuckians think childhood obesity is a problem in the state. So why won’t anyone try to prevent it? [H-L]

Prosecutors have charged that the mayor of a small southern Indiana city tampered with absentee ballots during last year’s primary campaign. [WLKY]

Whattya know about that? A new poll shows that Kentuckians support universal health care. Funny how that works. [WFPL]

Have you see the folks running in the 4th District Congressional race? The teabagger guy not only kind of looks like Greg Fischer but his campaign narrative mirrors Fischer’s like woah. [Page One]

Deleting comments about concerned animal care advocates questioning why tons of children and random people were allowed to jab their hands into the cages of dogs at Fest-a-Ville while leaving the photos up doesn’t make things better:

We share the concern that you aren’t taking education at these events seriously. Primarily because you focused on face painting and freebies rather than talking to people and providing information.

Where’s the common sense approach the public was promised?

We’re still waiting.

P.S. We’re still waiting on David Yates and his aide, Marty Meyer, to deliver on their LMAS promises, as well. So far? Their words are as empty as Jim King’s.

A magnet that both raises awareness and money.

We’re almost impressed and wish there were more solid moves like that.

WFPL’s Gabe Bullard needs a dog!

Here is Gabe, being important:

Gabe says he doesn’t need one.

His coworkers, however, disagree. He’s even mentioned that he’d be interested in having a dog some day.

He clearly wants to go to Metro Animal Services ASAP to make an adoption. Everyone should chime in to let him know how terrific having a dog can be.

So, if you love WFPL and Gabe Bullard, you should probably start pressuring him right now. Especially if you know him personally, as a colleague or encounter him on the street.

You’re welcome, Gabe!

It’s by the “Executive to the President” at the Fund for the Arts, Meghan Mando.

All about Justin Scally’s greatness.

A taste:

Looking for a family-friendly location to move his family, Justin Scally eventually settled on Louisville. In his new role at Metro Animal Services, Justin Scally will pursue various initiatives to help all the animals under the organization’s care.

-SNIP-

While Scally currently spends most of his time at work, he hopes to be able to join asso- ciations and boards in the future and become more active within the community.

It’s cute how she makes it seem like Scally was looking to move to Louisville. Never mind that the HSUS pushed him here.

More than 14,000 animals each year receive care at Metro Animal Services through services such as sheltering pets that have been abandoned.

Mando also conveniently neglected to mention that most – if not all – of those animals are killed and incinerated.

“Animals don’t care about my age,” said Scally, who faced some criticism because of his age. “They just care about the success of our programs.”

This poor girl just can’t dig herself out of a hole. He didn’t face criticism because of his age – he faced criticism because he has zero experience.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Feel free to also click here to take a look at the entire “magazine.”

Yep, a puppies & rainbows whitewash of Metro Animal Services, of Justin Scally’s absolute inexperience AND it’s essentially written and pushed by the Fund for the Arts. Yep, that Fund for the Arts. Still wondering why that whole incestuous circle gets eye rolls from us? And why most people who pay attention couldn’t be bothered to give cash to the organizations merely perpetuating the good old boy system in this town? It’s disgusting.

Please, hold your laughter.

Check out his new Fakebook cover photo:

It’s him standing beside a Metro Animal Services truck with a dog hanging out the window. During the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

Acting as if he gives two flips about LMAS.

Little does that dog know that at the end of this rainbow, the leprechaun isn’t guarding a pot of gold. He’s operating a furnace to burn the thousands of animals Greg can’t be bothered with.

A sports thing happened. A certain coach in Louisville is probably currently regretting gambling on his team (allegedly – says the Karen Sypher team). But people in Lexington are flipping insane. It’s like a bunch of wild hogs were turned loose on that town to burn cars and sofas. [WAVE3]

Jewish and St. Mary’s spent a whopping $7 million on merger last year. The University of Louisville says it only had minor expenses. [C-J/AKN ]

The shenanigans in Lexington were so crazy that, well, a clean-up was necessary. All for a semi-final basketball game. [WHAS11]

Greg Fischer’s crew couldn’t be bothered with keeping this in Louisville. Primarily because it makes Greg look like a bumbling idiot. Now this museum is going to open in Florida, of all places. An Act of Dog is important and Greg is letting it slip away. [HuffPo]

Hundreds of people made it out to the Trayvon Martin rally at Waterfront Park. So not everyone in Louisville is a fat, white, racist blob who locks their doors west of Second Street. [FOX41]

How many people do you think Bob Gunnell will pay to make “public comment” on the Brownsboro Road sidewalk project? That is, once he pays the IRS back and figures out a way to tell the feds why he can afford to fly on a private jet to New Orleans/accept a ride without paying the taxes on it. [C-J/AKN]

Go check this video from Joe Arnold out. Officials are reacting to school bus video in Henryville as a tornado hit. Absolutely crazy. But that bus driver deserves a raise for doing such a great job. Sure, she was just doing her job. But she’s an example of what’s good about society. [More WHAS11]

Jefferson County Public Schools is asking the Kentucky Department of Education to waive its district leadership assessment in place of a private audit the district commissioned last year. [WFPL]

Will Lexington burn completely to the ground tonight? Probably. Because people are dumb as hell when it comes to freaking out about sports. [WLKY]

Remember the Ark Park and how, you know, you are paying for it with your tax dollars? Then you’ll want to catch up on the latest Ark Park corruption in Frankfort. It’s more than outrageous but you won’t hear teabaggers talking about it adding to state debt because it involves Jesus. [Page One]

China owns everything else in the United States. So it makes sense that it would want to own all things horse-related in Kentucky. [H-L]

Look, people, stop acting shocked that nothing is happening in Frankfort with the Kentucky Retirement Systems corruption. Just look at these old stories to see why your beloved Democrats are enabling the corruption and sweeping things under the rug. [Page One]

Ann Oldfather chapped some Greg Fischer-Kentucky Retirement Systems ass. That corrupt game is falling apart. [C-J/AKN]

Long story short, heads are exploding because people can’t figure out whether or not Amazon is building a distribution center in Southern Indiana. [WAVE3]

Louisville is the NUMBER THREE (#3!) city in the country for having the worst allergies. Meanwhile, Frankfort fearmongers powered by Hal Rogers’ pork (blow me, Kelly, you fucking hack – and I won’t apologize for the language. -Jake) are trying to stifle your ability to obtain affordable medication… since you don’t have health insurance, can’t walk to the doctor because there are no sidewalks and can’t afford to take a cab or ride a bus because you’ve just been laid off. [AAFA]

Sorry, there is no “debate” over Brownsboro Road traffic. It’s all Bob Gunnell foaming at the mouth because a few fat white guys paid him to. Bob’s just lucky Mark and Tim Mulloy feel sorry for him and are allowing him to work. Cute that the only people with “concerns” are people like the Dahlems and those who literally just speed through from Mockingbird Valley. [FOX41]

Remember Alisha Ward? And how we broke the story last year about her allegedly stealing mountains of cash from the University of Louisville? She was just charged with wire fraud and money laundering. Jim Ramsey will probably win awards for allowing her to swindle dough. [C-J/AKN]

This story about gas prices in the 1980s has been WHAS11′s feature for roughly three months. [WHAS11]

What’s the best way to waste tens of thousands of dollars? Ask Southern Indiana how they flushed cash down the toilet in an attempt to pull in tourism dollars after the bridge reopened. [News & Tribune]

We told you early last week that No Kill Louisville was donating 27,000 pounds of pet food to storm-ravaged Eastern Kentucky. The local media finally caught on. [WLKY]

A handful of people in Lexington are just cold terrified of some homeless folks. Can you believe they let homeless people outside?! [H-L]

LG&E and Metro Gubmint have yet to reach a settlement on those fancy coal ash fines. [WFPL]

There’s no question that Louisville owes its firefighters and has for years. But throwing nearly $11 million at Kentucky Retirement Systems is not something that should be done lightly. Not while the FBI and SEC are investigating and not while Greg Fischer’s top guy, Tommy Elliott, is one of its secret hacks. [C-J/AKN]

You got your new police chief yesterday. Do you feel any different? [FOX41]

So… the organization that had Kentucky’s integrity rating a little jacked up is now reviewing its methods and information. Get ready for things to change. [Page One]

While there may be 55 puppy mill rescues available for adoption, there are HUNDREDS (!!) at Metro Animal Services right now. [WAVE3]

Metro Animal Services may be one of the worst-run shelters in the country with some really incompetent management but you should still be rescuing animals from that nightmare. [LMAS]

David James wants the new chief of police to testify before the Metro Council’s Public Safety committee. [WFPL]

Hold up a minute. Laundry detergent is now street currency and it is traded for drugs in Indiana? [WHAS11]

An announcement is expected soon regarding the potential Amazon distribution center in Southern Indiana. Something that should be built in Louisville but you know how state and local folks operate. [Business First]

Metro Parks is on a mission to get people to write about something that doesn’t involve the corruption of firing Joey Sears or their drunk-driving director, Mike Heitz. So we will write more about them. This “Parks Madness” thing sounds like something Heitz came up with as he was driving away from KT’s drunk. Which he’s still doing. Just not in a city-owned vehicle. [Consuming Louisville]

We didn’t write about John Yarmuth’s new gasoline deal because it’s dumb as hell. Not nearly as dumb as giving $40 billion in subsidies to mega-wealthy oil companies for nothing, though. [WLKY]

Surely we’re not the only folks who slightly roll our eyes over this new Teddy Gordon sports thing. Because we’re still not sure why private schools get to compete against public schools. [H-L]