You’ll probably want to read this story about the poorest county in America celebrating prom. Yes, it’s in Kentucky. [HuffPo]

Really, Greg? We’re going to keep talking about what a compassionate city Louisville is while people are murdered left and right? Doesn’t matter that they’re homeless or that they’re living in a homeless camp in Clifton. [WAVE3]

You’ll definitely want to read this story about how “Proud Appalachians” live without running water or power. [Daily Mail]

More problems for Greg Fischer’s Metro Public Works. Let’s just go ahead and assume this, too, will be swept under the rug. Possibility City! [WHAS11]

Tennessee proves it’s way more backwater than Kentucky. The governor there just signed a “saggy pants” bill. [WKYT]

Looks like that ugly ass clock is going to be moved downtown this weekend. Just in time for out-of-towners to gag themselves while looking at it. [C-J/AKN]

What was that, again, about pretending Louisville’s water is the best in the country? Seems the Water Company is constantly trying to beautify the problems with its system. From random dissolved solids spikes to freakish lead levels, it continues to happen. Only makes sense that the city would merge the LWC with MSD. Birds of a feather. [WFPL]

KFC was ordered to pay $8.3 million to an Australian family for salmonella poisoning. [HuffPo]

Police say the death of a woman found in her Eastern Louisville home is “odd.” [WLKY]

Here’s your chance to win a copy of The Kentucky Derby. It’s all about the Run for the Roses becoming America’s premier sporting event. [Page One]

“You may never get to experience the thrill of entering the winner’s circle and smelling the wonderful aroma that emanates from the garland of roses that signifies the greatest achievement in the sport of Thoroughbred racing, but this wonderful book will take you on a journey that gets you as close as any piece of writing possibly could.” — From the foreword by Chris McCarron, two-time Kentucky Derby winner and Hall of Fame inductee

We’ve had a chance to read it and think any Derby fan should grab their own copy right away.

Here’s how to win a copy from Page One and The ‘Ville Voice:

Leave a comment on this post, email Jake or tweet about your favorite memory of the Kentucky Derby.

We’ll select two winners this Sunday so they can be in the mail on Monday.

Have at it!

Look at the nuts going insane today.

There was such a huge email response that it seemed only fair to give everyone a shot. And… we’re expecting to have more copies than planned to give away.

So enter by midnight tonight.

Those books can be yours. You just have to enter the contest before the end of Sunday.

Get to it.

You know you want to win a fancy copy of Jim Higdon’s Cornbread Mafia! Go enter ASAP and consider supporting his Kickstarter project to take the book on tour. [Page One]

Police have busted a drug ring in Clarksville and detectives spent the evening rounding up 10 suspects and it’s all a part of their intensified effort to stop drug dealers. [WHAS11]

Sorry, Brooks Wicker, John Yarmuth doesn’t need to waste his time debating you because you’re not a serious candidate. That homophobic hatemonger who ran against him had more to offer last year. A handful of teabaggers will foam at the mouth in 3, 2… [WFPL]

Sure, there are a couple bad apples at LMPD but don’t act like everybody on the force is a d-bag. Here’s proof they’re not. [FOX41]

Isn’t it awesome having a neo-Nazi, Anti-Semitic, racist hate group taking over Frankfort? Not much different than the state legislature. [C-J/AKN]

Some sort of fun Jesus thing happened at the Grease Bucket Arena because Jesus and such so traffic sucked. Maybe we should turn that joint into a mega church so it can finally turn a profit? Jim Host is enough of a shyster that he could serve as the head preacher. [WAVE3]

Maybe Lexington’s school system is just as jacked as Jefferson County Public Schools after all. [H-L]

Former horsey racing steward John Veitch had his suspension stayed by Judge Thomas Wingate in Frankfort. [Business First]

Wait, are we really supposed to care that Charlie Strong was butt hurt at local media for ignoring his funtimes sports team? [WLKY]

Greg Fischer’s staff told media outlets we were lying about having telephone records and other pieces of information to prove he knew about his drunk driving parks director months before the scandal broke. So we started proving that Greg’s folks are the liars. We published the first tidbits of phone records. Proving Fischer is using your tax dollars to willingly lie to the press. [The 'Ville Voice]

Yep, Frankfort ruins everything and wastes every tax dollar, forever and ever and ever. Just a fact of life. [84WHAS]

You know you want to win a fancy copy of Jim Higdon’s Cornbread Mafia! Go enter ASAP and consider supporting his Kickstarter project to take the book on tour. [Page One]

Turns out Robert Felner isn’t the only former University of Louisville employee who exchanged hundreds of telephone calls and text messages with sexytime pals. [FOX41]

Why on earth was the state legislature trying to give Actors Theatre $100,000? Last we checked, they had enough money to pay sweet salaries. [C-J/AKN]

Greater Clark County Schools aren’t just keen on importing the discarded JCPS superintendents. Now the school system is importing fancy JCPS school bus accidents. [WAVE3]

If you aren’t outraged over the good old boy corruption at KET, you are completely desensitized to the shenanigans in state government. [Page One]

Can you imagine what would happen at Metro Corrections if the computer system failed? Money’s on it not running as smoothly as this failure in Lexington. [H-L]

ALERT! State Representative Joni Jenkins’ cat farm is back on tour as the Amazing Acro-Cats. Be sure to alert all elderly gays and cat ladies. They’ll want to book it to the Kentucky Center posthaste. [WHAS11]

Your new po-leece boss says his crew will be on-hand to remove any Occupy Louisville folks who don’t leave downtown tomorrow. [WFPL]

Really? You wonder why we continue to lose hope for Louisville Metro Government on a daily basis? [The 'Ville Voice]

Sts. Mary & Elizabeth Hospital spent $16 million on a new utility plant. Jerry Abramson and Greg Fischer are so excited they could spit. [Business First]

Little known fact: WFPL’s Gabe Bullard is one of the infamous Bronies. Now that Netflix has added My Little Pony to its streaming service, Bullard’s life is complete. [HuffPo]

You know you want to win a fancy copy of Jim Higdon’s Cornbread Mafia! Go enter ASAP and consider supporting his Kickstarter project to take the book on tour. [Page One

Sure, some cops are idiots like this unhinged LMPD officer but not all of them are. This douchebag gives cops a bad name. [FOX41]

All the folks who had nothing else to write about yesterday freaked out over John Yarmuth sending a letter to Mitch McConnell. It’s like everyone quickly forgets that Mitch McConnell has been lying about health care reform for more than two years. John is just now feeling safe enough to speak up a little bit. He’s still so nervous about it, in fact, that both his government staff and campaign staff selectively shared the letter with those they felt were friendly. So let’s quit with the, “Oh, John is so brave” bullshiz. He’s a solid congressman but this isn’t some big thing. [TPM]

Woah, it’s almost shocking that a man was pulled from the Ohio River and he wasn’t dead. Because it seems like there’s a new body pulled from the river every five seconds. [WAVE3]

Welp, Bobby Petrino got shiz-canned by Arkansas. So much for all the sneaky lady funtimes he had. [HuffPo]

Your new po-leece boss is reacting to the Beecher Terrace arrest video. He’s set to address the community on April 17. [WHAS11]

Mmmm hmmm. Indiana plans to issue a long-awaited economic impact study on the Ohio River Bridges Project as early as next week, but it’s unclear how broad — or how useful — its findings will be. [C-J/AKN]

Here comes Cheri Bryant-Hamilton again pretending that ending alcohol sales in various neighborhoods will solve all Louisville’s problems. [WLKY]

We all love Carmichael’s and hope it doesn’t go the way of ear X-tacy but it seems like that could be in the cards in a few years. [WFPL]

Whattya mean the mega wealthy who head companies with serious bases in Louisville get tax breaks to take flights on private jets? [Business First]

We’ve mentioned Jim Higdon’s hot-selling new book Cornbread Mafia a few times. Frankfort’s buzzing. Everyone is buying it up.

You can buy it up, too:

Because it’s important to support Kentucky authors and journalists. Even when they’re covering an issue that you may not want to discuss.

Many journalists, academics and wealthy types in Kentucky love to talk about brain drain. They love to press others to support things they care about – like telling stories that are truly borne of Kentucky. Just seems that very few of them are ever willing to put their money where their mouths are.

So let’s do this thing and send Jim Higdon on a book tour:

He’s got less than two weeks left to raise a small amount of money. There’s no reason Kentucky can’t support one of its own.

Now for the fun stuff.

We’re giving away several copies of Cornbread Mafia this week and you can enter to win. Here’s how to enter:

• Leave a comment on this post telling everyone about your favorite decades old Kentucky scandal. You must enter your real email address in the comment form so you can be contacted if you’re a winner. You may also email Jake if you don’t feel comfortable commenting.

Or:

• Make a Kickstarter pledge to support Higdon’s book tour and email Jake a copy or Tweet it at him to prove you’ve pledged

You’ve got until this Sunday, April 15 to enter. Winners will be contacted on Monday.

Get at it! CLICK HERE to enter.

Get ready to vomit:

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Here’s a taste:

A few minutes later, Tim excused himself and went to the men’s restroom leaving Karen and Father Bradley alone. Karen then said, “I would like to confess something, but I don’t want anyone to know about it.” She then took a deep breath, and told Father Bradley that she had been raped by Rick Pitino.

Sypher allegedly sold the rights for her story to Jim Faller, so we’re assuming “Giovanni Rustino” is a penname/pseudonym.

So take a few minutes to dry heave. And then start speculating.

Will the book reveal rumored details of gambling debts involving one of the key players in the scandal? The hot gossip is that somebody was placing bets for certain powers that be. But it’s just gossip and would likely cause a nightmare for UofL if it were true.

We may never know. Because no one is going to be able to read it.