It’s Oaks Day Eve. Are You Already Tanked, Maybe?

Way to go, Dismas. One of your folks tried to rape a woman at the Humane Society. [FOX41]

What happens in Kentucky when you’re profiting from the foreclosure crisis? You run for office as a Democrat! Specifically, for the 19th District State Senate district in Louisville. [Page One]

What will make the food desert bloom? It takes a combination of access, innovation and education to change peoples’ habits for the better. [NPR]

Police are investigating a possible connection between Southern Indiana’s new serial killer and that missing white girl from IU. [WAVE3]

Big purses, sore horses and death. Large payouts to owners make it profitable for owners to field thoroughbreds that are past their prime, sometimes with fatal results. [NYT]

Everybody is freaking out about that ugly gold thing 21C propped up on Main Street. All kinds of ladies clutching their pearls and old men complaining about the giant, ahem, wang hanging above them. [WHAS11]

The U.S. Attorney’s Office is investigating some of Humana’s southern Florida affiliates and providers for possible violations of Medicare regulations. Humana was fined $3.4 million by the state earlier this year for not appropriately reporting suspected Medicaid fraud. [WFPL]

The Pegasus Parade is today. Downtown. You going so you can get a little tipsy and yell at people to throw candy? [WLKY]

The Kentucky Transportation Cabinet just finished paying $8.3 million for the Drumanard Estate – $1.3 million above its own appraisal – to build the East End bridge in Louisville. [C-J/AKN]

Papaw Beshear is paying his tax reform consultant $60,000. We’d publish the press release but it’s super-boring. [H-L]

For the first time in Kentucky Derby history, an alternate was selected to run in the race if one of the 20 Thoroughbreds that qualified cannot run. [Business First]

Who knew so many people would freak out over those Cordish tidbits and lease highlights we published? [The ‘Ville Voice Here & Here]

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