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Remember The Meemaws As You Do Nothing Today

May 2nd, 2012 by jake · 10 Comments

This was published on Page One this morning but it’s worth sharing here. Because of the meemaws.

Can you imagine being an average meemaw watching the news this week?

Serial killer in New Albany, horse sexytimer in Louisville, bridges drama, Mr. Unforgettable is a crook, hail storms are ruining everything, there’s some tart (you know meemaws are afraid of Cyndi Lauper) leading the Pegasus Parade, all the kids are fat, Medicaid is falling apart in Eastern Kentucky, Nobama went to Afghannystan to yell about the foreigns some more, Alecia Webb-Edgington says she’s gonna take her gun to Warshington and Mitch McConnell won’t even go see the Wildcats at the White House!

Meemaw probably needs to up her blood pressure medicine and her water pill for the weekend.

You better pray for meemaw and take her a box of Crunch ‘n Munch on your lunch break. Her nerves are shot and she probably doesn’t even feel like going to Kroger on this most holy of days – Senior Citizen Discount Day.

Tags: Hype · Media · Possibility City

10 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Cathi // May 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Jake, you are too funny! With all of your witty insights on the musings of the meemaw set, one would think you are spending too much time at Juanita’s Cut and Curl and inhaling WAY too much perm solution!

  • 2 jake // May 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

    How do you know I’m not doing that right now?

  • 3 Rplant // May 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I personally laugh everytime you mention Mittens Romney. As for AWE – well, she is retired KSP so I guess under LEOSA she can TAKE it to Washington, but what she can do with it is a different matter.

  • 4 Bobbie // May 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Jake- I know you don’t hear this enough but you may have saved a life today! I was just about to head out the door to get my Kroger on but after reading that it is the discount day I will stay away from that mad house! It gets ugly up in there on Senior Discount Day!

    You are a blessing my friend!

  • 5 jake // May 2, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Bobbie: Does that mean you would have died or would have choked a poor, innocent meemaw to death?

    The rule of Krogering: You never, ever go on the first Wednesday (Senior Citizen Discount Day) for any reason. You just starve if you have to. Baby needs diapers? Go somewhere else. Kroger pharmacy have your life-saving medicine? Wait until after dark or call 911 or whatever. You just don’t go on this day.

    If you do, you’re going to either get emotional and cry at the old people who barely scrape by or just cold pop a vein out of frustration. Also, you might get run over by a land yacht in the parking lot as poppop drives down front to pick meemaw up with her groceries.

  • 6 Mike Heine // May 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I just keep telling myself ” It’s ok. Some day, with the grace of God, I will be old also.

  • 7 Bill // May 2, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    I have a different take on the “heads-up”. Today, I cruised though the Highlands Kroger. No angry crowds, and I got 10% off.

    Thanks for your help Jake.

  • 8 G'town Reader // May 2, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Here’s a “heads up” for Jake: BOOMERS ROCK.
    And still respect THEIR elders…

    Don’t dis the voters, Jake.

  • 9 jake // May 2, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Who dissed voters?

    I said to pray for meemaw and take her a box of Crunch ‘n Munch because her nerves are shot.

  • 10 Bobbie // May 2, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Boomers do rock but unfortunately they rock to a slower beat of the drum! I love me some old people, just not when they stand between me and my organic avocados!

    Jake, you saved MY life as I srsly don’t think my body could take another beat down by a souped up hoveround with oversized wheels and spinners (actually spotted at the New Albany Kroger)!