Everything’s Puppies & Rainbows With Cordish!

We’re not going to shut up about you giving to the Red Cross for tornado relief efforts. This will take a long time. [Click Here To Give]

Greg Fischer can’t even get basketball quotes right. It’s like he wants everyone across the Commonwealth to think he’s as disconnected as he really is. [KSR]

There’s a golf special with Metro Parks during the month of April. Be sure to try to win lessons from the golf “pros” who are bilking the government to literally play games. [Metro Gubmint]

The gay t-shirt shenanigans in Lexington? Really, dumb as hell. Total waste of time and money. [Page One]

Greg Fischer spends every waking moment proclaiming that Louisville is super-safe and woah “compassionate.” Then comes along the new po-leece chief and he says he wants to make the city safe. Meaning it’s not already safe? Or not safe enough? And the safest city in America? Really? Lawwwd, the Fischer rhetoric is thick this week. [C-J/AKN]

It’s another “editorial” from the teevee man about how great and magical Jefferson County Public Schools are. The tens of thousands of parents with concerns are just a bunch of washed up, you know, “urbans” who don’t know what they’re talking about. Also, urban school district? HAHAHA. [WAVE3]

They’re getting ready to just cold assplode Smoketown’s Sheppard Square housing development. You ready for the fireworks? [WFPL]

Lawwwd, the reaction to Karen Sypher’s book – the one she couldn’t even write herself – is pretty rough on Amazon. [Click the Clicky]

If you people act like idiots after a ball game, you deserve to be pepper sprayed like woah. [FOX41]

Just what Louisville needs. Another A Kentucky Newspaper knob-slobbing of Cordish Cos. and Fourth Street Live. All about a new weekends-only bar. [C-J/AKN]

Just in case you haven’t gouged your eyes out over the Louisville Orchestra cat fight, here’s more on the story. [WHAS11]

Really, this Metro Parks scandal is boiling over the edge of the pot. Greg Fischer is still attempting to ignore it. More and more Parks employees are coming forward to us as the days go by. [The ‘Ville Voice]

Hundreds of people in South Bend marched in memory of Trayvon Martin. How many will show up in Louisville tomorrow? [WLKY]

ALERT! GET WAVE3 A FAINTING COUCH! STAT!

Oh noes! Somebody get WAVE3 a fainting couch!

Lookit:

What happened to civil discourse? Why is our language so coarse now? We don’t have total control over our lot in life – but we do control how we conduct ourselves.

-SNIP-

Celebrate your candidate for President in the coming months without tearing down the other candidate.

-SNIP-

We offend no one when we aren’t profane.

Be sure not to use language that makes Ken Selvaggi’s delicate sensibilities twist up, shoo.

That’ll solve everybody’s problems.

Greg Fischer Apparently Thinks This Is High School

We’re not going to shut up about you giving to the Red Cross for tornado relief efforts. This will take a long time. [Click Here To Give]

Your fancy new police chief will address Metro Council’s Public Safety Committee today at 3:00 P.M. The meeting will be carried live on Metro TV/25. You may also stream it live. [Click Here]

Greg Fischer says he will “do the right thing” with travel expenses when he goes to the Final Four. Why would that even need to be mentioned? [WAVE3]

Death and disarray at America’s racetracks. You should probably read this horsey story. [NYT]

Meals on Wheels is a terrific organization that everybody should support if given the opportunity. But how the living shiz does Greg Fischer have time to pretend he’s delivering food? [FOX41]

Americans United for the Separation of Church and State is questioning the $2 million being spent on a road near the Ark Park Church Orgy Funtimes Pool Party Warehouse. [H-L]

Are you holding your breath that Jack Conway is paying attention to corrupt elected officials in Eastern Kentucky openly admitting to breaking the law in a serious manner? [Page One]

Yes, Dean Corbett is slightly full of himself. But that doesn’t make him a bad person. And his situation is the perfect reason local media outlets should calm the fuck down when it comes to jumping to immediate and wildly incorrect conclusions. [WHAS11]

Louisville’s terrific East Market district is getting all kinds of attention in Chicago these days. [Chicago Tribune]

A memorial in honor of Trayvon Martin will take place at Waterfront Park on Saturday. [WLKY]

On Thursday, April 5, at 6:00 P.M., Metro Council will address the firefighter settlement. They’ll be discussing whether or not Kentucky Retirement Systems, led by Fischer crony and Beshear apologist Tommy Elliott, is trying to pull the wool over Louisville’s eyes for a sweet $11 million wad of cash. If Jim King doesn’t sack up and chap a ton of ass, we can all go ahead and write him off as laughable. And it’s highly likely that he won’t. [Press Release]

Silver Trail Distillery, a Marshall County-based maker of legal “moonshine,” has joined the Kentucky Distillers’ Association, which primarily represents makers of bourbon. [Business First]

Locals supported Sexual Assault Awareness by wearing denim. Does this mean we support awareness nearly every single day because we all wear denim? Does it mean we support awareness more when wearing Sevens than when wearing Levi’s? [WFPL]